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dictatortots poetryThese are protosongs and titles needing music, and perhaps some bits that should never become songs. If you have any lyrical ideas you'd like to share with us, feel free to email us at dictatortots@worldofbeverage.net. Our primary requirement is that they be very stupid. |
ooh girl ooh girl ooh
Mostly improvised.
evil beaver her bitchin voice is sharper than a meat cleaver when she throws shit you always play the wide receiver your will is gone and you cannot even leave her she's always schemin' manipulatin' like a thousand horned daemon she melts your brain and sucks it out with your semen your life's a dream but you ain't wakin' up screamin' some pretty face her soundtrack throbs with evil 'tar and sludgy bass her ass is like the knobby head of satan's mace she'll crush your soul and leave an ulcer in its place evil; evil beaver busy evil beaver <loungy, with piano> strung out on crank she's just a skank she may look good in a tank but she's a dirty rotten evil fucking bitch <conversational> she'll get you thrown in jail then she'll spend all of your bail sell your house, burn your clothes so she can powder up her nose she ain't misunderstood she's just up to no damn good mother brother father daughter all are cattle for her slaughter she's an evil evil evil evil beaver
suv can't you see you cannot really be a man behind the wheel of a mini van suv groceries and tv leave those goddamned kids in back so you won't put up with all their crap commuters all give way to me and my heavy metal thunder i am drunk on gasoline and i'm gonna plow you under suv it's all me luxury is side by side with a four-wheel drive you can't deny suv so deadly 40 grand is all it takes wipe the smile off your buddy's face commuters all give way to me and my heavy metal thunder i am drunk on gasoline and i'm gonna plow you under suv sets you free trek across the barren wastes super chugger locked in place suv from daddy stick the deadhead stickers on we'll smoke and fuck and rock till dawn commuters all give way to me and my heavy metal thunder i am drunk on gasoline and i'm gonna plow you under
Lyrics pending.
fucking psycho bloody turbo nerd i bring the death to you that you deserve grab my gun i'm gonna put you down kicking ass i do it by the pound screaming psycho bloody turbo nerd shoot at me you've got some fucking nerve blow your guts on out into the hall smear the rest all over floor and wall laughing psycho bloody turbo nerd squeeze your brains out like a bloody turd turn around and here you come again think you're going to take me out and win? raging psycho bloody turbo nerd sing a song of death that's quite absurd stomp your ass into a stinking hole one day you will know your fucking role
fuck the man who would champion mere wiles tis brute strength prevails over all with bare hands i crush the skull of a lion with iron will i stalk the wild men of Gaul i walk, head held high, like a god through the forum the people all scatter to make way for me none dare to challenge my haughty decorum three senator's daughters will keep me merry! a fight to the death means no more to me than a slight case of wind or a meddlesome flea all or nothing - gladiator feel the whip sting - and grow stronger rip apart an alligator uncage that ape! he'll rage no longer! i challenge all men who think themselves bold step in the arena and make yourself known i'll use my bare hands against trident or sword i'll rip out your heart and chew on your bones! i'll craft from your skull a football of sorts kick it over the high marble wall throw out your guts to the slavering crowd play golf with your legbone and balls! a fight to the finish to me is a bore an itch one might catch from a Scythean whore all or nothing - gladiator feel the whip sting - and grow stronger rip apart an alligator uncage that ape! he'll rage no longer!
i am a sailer adrift on yon sea and there's always something that's itchin' at me that sweet cabin boy with the lavender socks tommyrot, bollocks, and pox i am a soldier, head down in the trenches yes, i've had my share of those sassy French wenches and sometimes young "Belle" - sweetest ewe in their flocks! tommyrot, bollocks, and pox tommyrot, tommyrot - blow the man down bollocks and pox in my smocks and my gown tommyrot, tommyrot - pieces of eight bollocks and pox 'pon the locks of me pate i am a mad scientist in a castle i dig 'em up, dress 'em up, garters and tassels the old burgermeister would clap me in stocks! tommyrot, bollocks, and pox i am a cowboy conquering the west and i've never seen a lady undressed buy my sidekick Pecos is kind of a fox! tommyrot, bollocks, and pox tommyrot, tommyrot - drippy dip doo bollocks and pox - oh me shanks are a stew tommyrot, tommyrot - red as a furnace bollocks and pox - ever devils shall burn us!
you talk and talk and talk - oh, you babble all the time hey, that would be ok if you were albert einstein i know things about you i would pay money to forget you're talkin' to me through the bathroom door while i'm pretending to take a shit there's one thing you need, but i just can't give it up i'm talkin' 'bout a genuine, certified, class-A, flyin' fuck thanks for the free advice, it must be bargain day in that great wonderland of wisdom you call a brain your personal problems sound so fucked up i think you are insane i'd give it to you if i had it, just so you'd shut up i'm talkin' 'bout a genuine, certified, class-A flyin' fuck we're fellow travellers on this journey, me and you unstrapped and cruising for hours, what are we going to do? there ought to be a law against assault with talkative exuberance i'd give it to you if i had it, just so you'd shut up i'm talkin' 'bout a genuine, certified, class-A flyin' fuck got no time to lose, it's time to snooze i'm talkin' 'bout a genuine class-A red-breasted yellow-bellied flight-tested shaken, not stirred with a cherry on top - flyin' fuck!
french people stink they drink and smoke too much they're ruder than the germans and cold as the dutch a scotsman will save until the very end that last little sixpence he couldn't bear to spend italians have been sex-crazed since before the age of flavian they'll fuck anything you'd think they were scandinavian white people, white people drink the wine and sup your servants bring you dinner while you're fucking the world up when you are gone you will not be missed stupid as the polish and useless as the swiss the irish drink all day then they dance all night "hey, give me that potato or there's going to be a fight" oh, those white americans i've saved the worst for last they're big and loud and stupid but they can kick your ass they'll drink some crappy beer smoke a marlboro and cough bomb you back into the stone age if you piss them off white people, white people you've had your day this ain't no roman empire so please just go away we don't want your mcdonald's jerry springer or gap stores your men are all impotent your women are all whores
necesito burrito bring me the numero cinco i like the pollo asada si senor y de nada i like to trough at the buffet get fat and round like el Jefe shovel chili colorado and finish up with helado necesito burrito no no comer a piqueno even hormel a frito beats some damn health food con wheat-o vamanos to the kitchen the frijoles are so bitchin' bebidas frescas a plenty to quench la salsa caliente
I need more participation in a simple occupation make $15 or more an hour expanding my vast power catch the unwary on the throne make them run so they can catch the phone here's your paycheck now ain't that a deal your commission on the souls you steal i will monitor your conversation give that creepy ass sensation hell's bells they are a dingin' so keep them phone's a ringin' they won't know until they pay their bill easy monthly payments till they lose their will pay the rope out until they're hung clean my stables with their blistered tongues
i love the bookish women and there ain't no question watching them workin' is my main obsession take a look around and see me gawkin' anyplace that you might see them flockin' some may like a 40 filled with beer from milwaukee me i like the flavor of a pint of cold sake button down white shirt, black pleated skirt she serves me raw fish and i start to flirt don't give me disco dollies with their all night skankin' i prefer the honeys where i do my bankin' big friendly smile makes me feel sorta rash i write her a check, and she slides me some cash then i stroll down to the house of joe gotta find a bookish girl who won't say no there's one in the corner, double-D (caff latte) four-eyed shy girl with a fine bod-tay and i love the bookish ladies with the chip on their shoulder gotta make my moves 'fore i get much older cuz i want a bookish girl who likes to get nasty, slaps me cross my face when I start to get crasty i am bic pent am-e-ter i showed her my ancient mariner cuz when i see stately pleasure domes in xanadu i will make my home got no business, i'm just tarryin' checkin' out the stacks on the head librarian stampin' on cards, she's stackin' up books and every now and then she gives me dirty looks
mullet! brink of destruction mullet! electrostatic induction mullet! i'm gonna make you combustion mullet! i'ma bring the mullet stomp mullet! are you invading my camaro? mullet! i'll kick your ass like a pharoh mullet! all the way to rio de janeiro mullet! might have to bring my mullet stomp mullet! i'll take you there mullet! to my palace of hair mullet! you will know fear mullet! in the realm of my mullet stomp
warmin' up the glass packs double barrel, chrome backs pop it into gear, spin the wheels, and you'll have an altercation with high accelleration as it grabs the mass of your ass and throws it 'cross the line all you hear is glass packs glass packs glass packs glass packs better get new speakers cuz yours keep sounding weaker oh sure you got the bass in your face but the thunder at your back keeps getting louder it turns your drums to powder and nothing keeps booming and booming and booming and booming like a glass pack glass pack glass pack glass pack
10 lbs. of shit in a 5 lb. sack got a squint in my eye and a crick in my back driving 3000 miles with the kitchen sink brought 6 t-shirts and they all stink shithaul. shithaul. loaded them boxes in my brand new boots now i'm sure my blisters are in cahoots they're gonna make me pay for what i have done and need i even mention that goddamned sun? shithaul. shithaul. my trucker's tan turned into lobster arm and that two-egg breakfast is doing me harm my only real pleasure is a good cd and every 100 miles when i stop to pee shithaul. shithaul. drop the kids off in some arkansas pool wake up with my pillow all covered with drool crack the door open to let out the smell and in come the skeeters straight out of hell shithaul. shithaul. pull into the driveway, and wipe off a tear nothing tastes better than that ice cold beer it sure feels good to just sit on the porch - the next load of shit's gonna get the torch shithaul. shithaul.
behold my tally-whacker. round and round the creases go. upwards, spiraling, towards the head. behold my head, my tally-whacker. behold my tally, my whacker. behold the keenness of my big cock. behold, behold, behold. behold my great big very keen cock. i've got a cock, the head is huge. i've got a cock, and so do you. what do you do with your cock? in a sense, mine is really, really big. it's really to big to talk about. behold my cock, I think its your spouse.